Fruit Snacks pt. 1: Everything Happens for a Reason
…but sometimes that reason is garbage.
This phrase is misleading at best.
I’ve heard many variations of this expression, usually in relationship to suffering or “bad” things happening. “Everything happens for a reason,” “God gives us trials to grow our faith,” “God has a plan for your suffering,” “perseverance in trial makes you more like Christ,” etc. Unfortunately, I’ve heard these ideas from women more than men, often times from women stuck in abusive marriages, jobs, or churches, believing that God has called them to suffer in those places.
Fruit snacks!
These ideas look a little bit like fruit because suffering happens, and God walks with us through that, even redeeming it for good.
But they aren’t real fruit. God doesn’t want you to suffer. He didn’t create you to get stomped all over. Sometimes suffering happens for no reason other than because evil exists. It breaks God’s heart.
Where does the Bible say that everything happens for a reason?
It doesn’t.
There are some verses with related ideas, with Romans 8 being the most frequently misrepresented:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Romans 8 says that God is always working for the good of those who love him. Romans 8 does not say that God ordains bad things to happen to you for your good. It says exactly the opposite. WHEN bad things happen (because they will), God is still working towards the redemption of all creation. Creation groans in waiting. It exists in a state of “fallenness,” or “sinfulness,” separated from full fellowship with God. There is evil in the world. There are trials in the world. But God is moving, adopting us as sons and daughters, redeeming us, saving us, as we wait for the redemption of every corner of creation.
Scripture never tells us that everything that happens in life serves a greater purpose. The writer of Ecclesiastes calls everything meaningless. The psalmists cry out in anger and frustration over and over again. The prophets proclaim God’s hatred of injustice and wickedness.
What is the purpose of war? Murder? Abuse? Starvation? These are purposeless evils.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” is another great lie. What doesn’t kill you sometimes leaves you broken or paralyzed. God doesn’t torture us to the brink of death for our benefit.
But bad things happen, and it’s ok to cry out in anger and frustration like the psalmists. It’s good to know that God hates it too, as the prophets have told us. And when bad things happen…
HEALING makes us stronger.
God heals.
God makes us stronger.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. James 1:17-18
The good and perfect things in our lives are from God. God gives us life, and then new life through Jesus. God loves us and wants good for us, and that will never change. We are the firstfruits - the best fruit. God doesn’t kick around the fruit, bruising it to make it better. That goes against everything the Bible tells us about God’s loving kindness towards us, and his willingness to take on death on our behalf. YOU ARE GOD’S PRECIOUS CHILD!
If you find yourself in a situation where you are being stomped on, don’t believe that God wants that for you. God is good.
Ask yourself why you are there.
Ask yourself if you need to remain there.
Ask God to show you what steps you need to take next.
If you are experiencing domestic violence or abuse, get help.
Call: 800.799.SAFE in the US.
Sometimes we can walk away from bad situations, and sometimes we can’t.
Years ago, when I was working in youth ministry, one of my students had gone through treatment for a serious form of cancer when he was only 3 years old. He said to me one night, “If God loves me, why did he give me cancer?” To which I said, “If you learn one thing from me ever, learn this. God didn’t give you cancer. It broke God’s heart that you went through that. Disease is part of living in this world, and we all deal with it to one degree or another. But God walked with you through that, and is still walking with you.” The moment and the conversation ended when some other students ran through yelling and throwing things. But I still think about that conversation. Imagine spending your whole life thinking God had ordained your suffering for some twisted purpose? That’s not a loving God. That’s not the God of the Bible.
Bad things happen. Senseless things happen. Evil things happen. Sometimes there is no reason other than evil.
God weeps with you.
God holds you.
God will HEAL you and bring you through. It will take time.
God will make it all right in the end. That will take more time.
But I promise you, one day, it will be on earth as it is in heaven.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4
In the meantime, God wants every good and perfect thing for you. He loves you, even when bad things happen for no good reason.
Earlier posts in this series: